A Little Insanity Can Sometimes Save the Day
Raising eight children can be a great deal of fun. It can also be very difficult and stressful on one salary. Sometimes we had to be a little creative to deal with it. The following correspondence with Ontario Hydro demonstrates one of the ways we used to keep a proper perspective on the situation and maintain some degree of sanity at the same time.
ONTARIO HYDRO
Box 2000, Aylmer, Ont N5H 2T5
January 13, 1977
Mr. Don Edmiston
R.R. 1,
Union, Ontario,
N0L 2L0
Dear Sir:
Re: Account 22-4372445
We have today received your two post-dated cheques in payment of your hydro account. No mention of this was made in your telephone call of January 11, 1977.
We consider these post-dated cheques as a request for extension of payment beyond the period of time accorded other customers. For this time only, we will accept these arrangements, as future extensions may not be granted.
In the past year we noted two cheques have been returned marked “Not Sufficient Funds”. We are no longer prepared to supply service without some guarantee of payment. We are therefore requesting a $100.00 deposit be made before February 1, 1977. Interest will be paid on the deposit, and it will be returned upon establishing a good payment record. If necessary, a suitable payment schedule may be arranged by contacting myself, or Mrs. Bailey.
Yours truly
N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor
East Elgin Area
ND:mc
January 14, 1977
Ontario Hydro
Box 2000
Aylmer, Ontario
Attention: Mr. N. DeMarchi,
Office Supervisor,
East Elgin Area.
Dear Sir:
This evening’s post brought your letter, which proved to be a fitting climax to a purely wretched week. I’ll spare you the messy details, but believe me it was a bad one. Your letter almost pushed me over the edge. At first I considered taking my shotgun down to Aylmer and having a talk with you; but no, the firing pin was broken. Then I thought I would take Duffy down and say, “Sic ‘im”, but he wouldn’t get in the car. I toyed with the idea of flinging myself into one of your generators, but I didn’t have enough money to get to Aylmer let alone Niagara Falls. That was unfortunate; history would have remembered me as the man who short-circuited Ontario Hydro. That would have been a sparkling finish to an illustrious career, don’t you think? You can see how close to the edge I was. When I recovered what little sanity I have, I realized, because I live in the country, you probably thought I was a rich farmer and you wanted to sock it to me. Normally, that would be an admirable idea with much merit, but I’m not a rich farmer and the sock is empty.
Your letter certainly has me horned on a dilemma. If I give you the $100.00 deposit before February 1, the two cheques you have will bounce like a rubber ball and you’ll turn off my hydro. It’s true, I’ll have $100.00 deposited with Ontario Hydro- earning me interest even, but I won’t have any hydro. Practically everything I own runs on hydro. For instance, the furnace. If it doesn’t have a continuous supply of hydro it just sits there in the basement and sulks, cold and silent. If I try to pay the bill and the deposit, it will still sit there cold and silent, because the oil truck won’t come. The day we traded our gas mantles for a mess of short circuits is a day we’ll all live to regret.
I can tell from your letter that you are a reasonable man, so you undoubtedly appreciate my position. Perhaps you’ll consider a compromise. I would like to suggest that you let us put sufficient funds in the bank to honour our cheques, let us catch up on the bill and then if you are still unhappy at that time, we could scrape up the deposit, perhaps in installments.
You mention some concern over two N.S.F. cheques. Not to worry. That was a temporary situation. The cheques were only short 4, or 5 dollars, as I recall, and we made them good immediately as your records probably indicate. Banks never have sufficient funds anyway. You can’t trust one in a hundred. I hope you can consider this proposal and let me know what your feelings are. If I have to get the deposit before February 1, I’ll have to sell one of the kids. Actually, considering the shape they’re in, to get a hundred bucks, I’d have to sell two.
Yours truly
Don Edmiston
Account No. 22-4372445
ONTARIO HYDRO
Box 2000, Aylmer, Ontario N5H 2T5
January 25, 1977.
Mr. Don Edmiston
R.R. 1,
Union, Ontario.
N0L 2L0
Dear Sir:
Re: Account 22-4372445
I don’t know how big “Duffy” is, but I’m sure glad he wouldn’t co-operate.
Thank you for your letter of January 14, 1977, which was reviewed by our Collection Department. While your payment record still requires us to request the deposit, we are prepared to accept a reasonable arrangement for payment.
Please contact myself, or our Mrs. Bailey by February 1, 1977, to arrange this schedule.
Yours truly,
N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor,
East Elgin Area.
ND:mc
,
January 29, 1977
Attention Mr. N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor
East Elgin Area
Dear Sir:
Two letters from a genuine human person within one month. I can scarcely believe it. I’ve received nothing but form letters and computer printouts for so long I had almost forgotten there were still a few people around who compose their own letters. And such a letter- particularly that second paragraph. When Duffy read your first letter he remarked that here was a man of high good humor and compassionate disposition. Duffy is seldom wrong. I’m almost sorry I had the firing pin repaired. However, I have taken down the barricades from both driveways, disarmed the children and tonight we began feeding the dogs again. (Man! They were ugly!)
I’m glad you decided to let us make some arrangements to pay that deposit in installments. I certainly wish Ma Bell were as reasonable. What a misnomer. Whoever named her Ma, sure didn’t know her. That old bitch has never been anybody’s mother. The February 1, date has me a little concerned though. Since it is now January 29, and I’m sitting in the middle of the worst blizzard I’ve seen in a few years, I’m not at all sure I can make the deadline, but please be assured I’ll be there.
If spring ever comes and the sun comes back, if that damn furnace ever goes into it’s summer recess and we can shut that dryer down and start hanging clothes outside, I’ll invite you out here for dinner some night. You can even bring a friend. We have a very large table. Not much on it mind you, but it’s a very nice table, nevertheless. Don’t worry about Duffy. Although he’s a full-grown collie, he’s a real cream puff. He does everything I tell him though so watch it.
All nonsense aside, I appreciate the opportunity to pay the deposit in installments. I’ll be down to see you as soon as I can make it.
Fond regards
Don Edmiston
Account No. 22-4372445
ONTARIO HYDRO
Box 2000, Aylmer, Ont N5H 2T5
January 13, 1977
Mr. Don Edmiston
R.R. 1,
Union, Ontario,
N0L 2L0
Dear Sir:
Re: Account 22-4372445
We have today received your two post-dated cheques in payment of your hydro account. No mention of this was made in your telephone call of January 11, 1977.
We consider these post-dated cheques as a request for extension of payment beyond the period of time accorded other customers. For this time only, we will accept these arrangements, as future extensions may not be granted.
In the past year we noted two cheques have been returned marked “Not Sufficient Funds”. We are no longer prepared to supply service without some guarantee of payment. We are therefore requesting a $100.00 deposit be made before February 1, 1977. Interest will be paid on the deposit, and it will be returned upon establishing a good payment record. If necessary, a suitable payment schedule may be arranged by contacting myself, or Mrs. Bailey.
Yours truly
N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor
East Elgin Area
ND:mc
January 14, 1977
Ontario Hydro
Box 2000
Aylmer, Ontario
Attention: Mr. N. DeMarchi,
Office Supervisor,
East Elgin Area.
Dear Sir:
This evening’s post brought your letter, which proved to be a fitting climax to a purely wretched week. I’ll spare you the messy details, but believe me it was a bad one. Your letter almost pushed me over the edge. At first I considered taking my shotgun down to Aylmer and having a talk with you; but no, the firing pin was broken. Then I thought I would take Duffy down and say, “Sic ‘im”, but he wouldn’t get in the car. I toyed with the idea of flinging myself into one of your generators, but I didn’t have enough money to get to Aylmer let alone Niagara Falls. That was unfortunate; history would have remembered me as the man who short-circuited Ontario Hydro. That would have been a sparkling finish to an illustrious career, don’t you think? You can see how close to the edge I was. When I recovered what little sanity I have, I realized, because I live in the country, you probably thought I was a rich farmer and you wanted to sock it to me. Normally, that would be an admirable idea with much merit, but I’m not a rich farmer and the sock is empty.
Your letter certainly has me horned on a dilemma. If I give you the $100.00 deposit before February 1, the two cheques you have will bounce like a rubber ball and you’ll turn off my hydro. It’s true, I’ll have $100.00 deposited with Ontario Hydro- earning me interest even, but I won’t have any hydro. Practically everything I own runs on hydro. For instance, the furnace. If it doesn’t have a continuous supply of hydro it just sits there in the basement and sulks, cold and silent. If I try to pay the bill and the deposit, it will still sit there cold and silent, because the oil truck won’t come. The day we traded our gas mantles for a mess of short circuits is a day we’ll all live to regret.
I can tell from your letter that you are a reasonable man, so you undoubtedly appreciate my position. Perhaps you’ll consider a compromise. I would like to suggest that you let us put sufficient funds in the bank to honour our cheques, let us catch up on the bill and then if you are still unhappy at that time, we could scrape up the deposit, perhaps in installments.
You mention some concern over two N.S.F. cheques. Not to worry. That was a temporary situation. The cheques were only short 4, or 5 dollars, as I recall, and we made them good immediately as your records probably indicate. Banks never have sufficient funds anyway. You can’t trust one in a hundred. I hope you can consider this proposal and let me know what your feelings are. If I have to get the deposit before February 1, I’ll have to sell one of the kids. Actually, considering the shape they’re in, to get a hundred bucks, I’d have to sell two.
Yours truly
Don Edmiston
Account No. 22-4372445
ONTARIO HYDRO
Box 2000, Aylmer, Ontario N5H 2T5
January 25, 1977.
Mr. Don Edmiston
R.R. 1,
Union, Ontario.
N0L 2L0
Dear Sir:
Re: Account 22-4372445
I don’t know how big “Duffy” is, but I’m sure glad he wouldn’t co-operate.
Thank you for your letter of January 14, 1977, which was reviewed by our Collection Department. While your payment record still requires us to request the deposit, we are prepared to accept a reasonable arrangement for payment.
Please contact myself, or our Mrs. Bailey by February 1, 1977, to arrange this schedule.
Yours truly,
N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor,
East Elgin Area.
ND:mc
,
January 29, 1977
Attention Mr. N. DeMarchi
Office Supervisor
East Elgin Area
Dear Sir:
Two letters from a genuine human person within one month. I can scarcely believe it. I’ve received nothing but form letters and computer printouts for so long I had almost forgotten there were still a few people around who compose their own letters. And such a letter- particularly that second paragraph. When Duffy read your first letter he remarked that here was a man of high good humor and compassionate disposition. Duffy is seldom wrong. I’m almost sorry I had the firing pin repaired. However, I have taken down the barricades from both driveways, disarmed the children and tonight we began feeding the dogs again. (Man! They were ugly!)
I’m glad you decided to let us make some arrangements to pay that deposit in installments. I certainly wish Ma Bell were as reasonable. What a misnomer. Whoever named her Ma, sure didn’t know her. That old bitch has never been anybody’s mother. The February 1, date has me a little concerned though. Since it is now January 29, and I’m sitting in the middle of the worst blizzard I’ve seen in a few years, I’m not at all sure I can make the deadline, but please be assured I’ll be there.
If spring ever comes and the sun comes back, if that damn furnace ever goes into it’s summer recess and we can shut that dryer down and start hanging clothes outside, I’ll invite you out here for dinner some night. You can even bring a friend. We have a very large table. Not much on it mind you, but it’s a very nice table, nevertheless. Don’t worry about Duffy. Although he’s a full-grown collie, he’s a real cream puff. He does everything I tell him though so watch it.
All nonsense aside, I appreciate the opportunity to pay the deposit in installments. I’ll be down to see you as soon as I can make it.
Fond regards
Don Edmiston
Account No. 22-4372445
posted by Don Edmiston at 9:46 AM
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